we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
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