Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
if you want blown tonight you're gonna have to take me up on that offer now. in less then 45 minutes you're gonna be blacked out and i'm not doing something i'm not getting credit for in the morning.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Randomize
