Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
