I hate your face
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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