I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
