I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
