I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Security deposit gone.
burned down garage with fireworks.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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