So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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