marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
I HATE BEING THIS HIGH FML IT'S LIKE I'M MAKING UP FOR ALL THE 4:20S I DIDNT DO ALL AT ONCE
Randomize
