you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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