And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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