i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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