i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
They are going to name an STD after you.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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