This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
