For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
its times like this i wish i didnt have a penis
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