we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
