Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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