So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
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