12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
