Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
