she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
She carried my bag of puke down the aisle and the flight attendant wouldn't move the beverage cart so she put the puke bag in the flight attendant's face and said "I have a bag of sickness!" I've never seen a cart move that fast.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Randomize
