If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
All I want is dick and wine.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
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