i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
A hangover is a type of food poisoning. Makes me feel better about calling out of work.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
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