You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
