What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
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