my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
I just don't think it's that outlandish to ask that I don't get messages from my husband at 8:30pm on a Wednesday telling me he peed on our cat
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Randomize
