my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
Randomize
