I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I look like Roseanne just got in a bar fight with Rosie O'Donnell.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
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