apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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