This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
this hospital has no fireball
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
Randomize
