i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
