I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Randomize
