i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I think a kid would responsible me up
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
