I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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