Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
So vagazzling was a success
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Randomize
