id be glad to
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
