Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Someone stole a lamp last night.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Randomize
