there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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