Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
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