so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
