How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
