is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
