i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
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