Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Randomize
