I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Today I met the neighbor that shares my bedroom wall. When I pointed out my unit, he said, "Oh, that's you? Oh... that's you." I didn't think much of it until I was in bed tonight and I heard him clear his throat. He's. Heard. Everything.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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