the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
