addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
