she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
