The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
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