there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize